A group of chess enthusiasts checked into an hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!"

~

A passed pawn comes home from work one day driving a fancy new car. His wife is astonished and says, "Honey, I don't think we can afford this nice new car on your salary." The passed pawn says, "Relax, I'm about to get promoted!"

~

A couple are strolling through the park when they come across a man playing chess against a dog. Astonished, they say, "What a clever dog!" But the man protests, "No, no, he isn't that clever. I'm leading by three games to one."

~

How do you move your king back through time? Easy: move him to b4.